Writers Beware

"Welcome to Undead Press, we are a zombie/ horror publisher, as well as apocalyptic fiction." Or as it should have been edited to say... Welcome to Undead Press. We are a horror publisher specializing in zombies and apocalyptic fiction. Except they can't edit. No wait, they can. Or at least they think they can. And they do, to others, recklessly and without notification or morals. Oh but I've gotten ahead of myself... let's back the snark up just a touch. Undead Press's welcome message should be enough to scare a writer away. Unfortunately, when we're young and new to this, we get excited. We don't like to say no, or walk away, and cannot fathom ignoring any opportunity we see. So we ignore our gut instincts. We pretend not to see red flags. We see other writers being published here or there, and think nothing of giving away our sweat, blood and tears. Eventually we learn not to do that. New writers, however, have to learn the rules---sometimes the hard way. It's a passage of youth, so to speak. But that does not give the publishers a right to abuse their innocence. Of course, a real publisher wouldn't do that. This blog actually has a dual purpose. A. Tell the new writers a few rules and help their learning curve. B. Call out the publisher that caused this blog in the first place. Let's start with B... Undead Press. Created and run by hack writer Anthony Giangregorio. Note he's a "writer" as well as a publisher. And considering his skills, I feel it's safe to put him in that category of "publisher" that is really just a bad writer no one wants to publish, so they publish themselves under this publishing house or that (sometimes, like in Tony's case, under several entities---occasionally at the same time, most of the time one after another failed attempt to hide the truth). They're not really interested in being a publisher or the responsibilities that comes with that. They're just interested in seeing their name on books. Which is why it's so odd. I mean really... They do what they do out of desperation, so isn't it cannibalism of some sort to take advantage of those who are just as desperate to see their names on the page? Anthony Giangregorio of Undead Press is a cannibal of unbelievable proportions... Mandy De Geit was his latest meal. I say we make him regurgitate. Mandy's story is in full on facebook and her blog. Read them. The short version is that Tony "edited" her story. He didn't fix grammar and spelling or help her tweak her sentence structure. Oh no. Tony turned a non-gendered character into a boy, named the best friend, created a memory for the main character about animal abuse, and added a suggestion of rape. He didn't fix the its and it's, or their and there. He changed the essence of the story. He changed the feel. He took away the suspense. He rewrote her words into something that wasn't hers. And to make it worse, he added new issues. His own inability to edit (or hire a competent editor) is apparent right from the title of her story. It should be She Makes Me Smile, as she put on both the contract and the submitted file. His version---because it's got a professional editor and everything---is She Make's Me Smile. Go ahead. Take a minute. Try to make that work in your head. Bob's eight-year-old couldn't when we asked him. When she reacted by expressing her disbelief, he turned into a complete doucherocket. No, doucherocket is way too nice for him, and completely mean to doucherockets worldwide. What he did was a deplorable transgression of the trust a writer puts into a publisher. How he reacted only proved just how low on the food chain he lives. I've met pond scum with more morals...and I know some pretty horrible pond scum. He's so bad, he's got a blog dedicated to his suckiness. Oh, but it doesn't stop there. No no. Her blog and facebook page have both exploded---with even Neil Gaiman piping in. (Read. Jump in. Stand up for your rights as a writer.) But the explosion actually started when I told her to stand up, be vocal, and we hit twitter with it. And everyone started coming out of the woodwork. Alyn Day (aka @Z0mbiegrl) had a very similar experience. And with a little nudging, she's got a blog and facebook page explosion of her own. Check them out. Several people on twitter spoke up. Mandy's blog and facebook are full of people with similar situations. It goes on and on... Read the atrocities. Comment. And then go share the love/hate relationship with Undead Press. Leave a message on their facebook, twitter them, feedback on their website, however you'd like to take up arms and join the fight. Because that's what this is, a fight. If we let him get away with this, he'll do it again. And again and again. If you write, make a noise. If you read, make a noise. And for the love of all that is holy, if it happened to you, tell your story and spread the link. Why? Because it's not just a fight. It's what's right. And Tony-boy needs to do more than just tell her the story is now NON-exclusive. He needs to give back her FULL rights, void the contract, buy back the copies she bought for her family and friends (since the story in them isn't hers anymore), and he needs to remove her from that TOC completely. This isn't a representation of her work, and as a fledgling writer, she cannot afford to have people thinking this is her voice, her style or her story. He's a fly-by-night hack. He's probably nothing but a POD (can't confirm that, if you can, tell us). He can change that manuscript and remove her... if he's not POD, too bad. He needs to remove her at whatever cost. Regurgitate his latest victim. Like a bad dog that's eating something it shouldn't, I say we continue to hit him over the head with a newspaper until he spits it out. Now then, that other part: tips for new writers to avoid things like this... I think that's going to be longer than I anticipated and will take the steam from this one, so let's come back to that later. For now, just remember: any publisher webpage with blatant grammatical issues should be avoided at all costs! And Tony G, if you're listening, this isn't going to just go away. Not until you do the right thing and run off with your tail between your legs. UPDATES: 1. For any that may have misunderstood me wondering if Tony uses POD for his publications, it was not meant as a slur against POD publishers, but rather pointing out how easily he could remove her from the TOC before any more are printed. Addressed here. 2. New links to check out:
  • Interview with Mandy De Geit
  • Interview with Vincent Bilof (the editor for the anthology in question)
  • Podcast of Robert Swartwood & JF Gonzalez discussing the Undead Press fiasco and other things
  • Nick Mamatas shares Tony's possible* threat toward Alyn.
  • And if you haven't been there since this started, you may want to revisit Mandy's blog, as she now has over 400 comments---some supporting, some sharing similar experiences.
3. And finally... while I'm glad that you're confiding in me through email and facebook your horror stories of Tony G, please, please, please---for the love of all that is holy---post them online somewhere. Share them. Stand up for yourself. Help others realize how deep this issue goes with Tony so when he reincarnates himself (again) with a new publishing name, people are warned. Post them here, on Mandy's, or better yet... your own facebook, blog, whatever, and then post links to it here and on Mandy's. Help us use social networking the way Satan intended...  

H20

Look @meteornotes --- a shark! And now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's pretend there isn't a naked girl swimming above said shark and instead look at all that blue stuff around them. Yes, water. I'm writing a blog about water. Seems strange, I know, but hang with me here... For those that don't know, I'm a water snob. It came from years of horrible city water at home and being the sober one at cons. Bottled water, when it was too freaking cold to go to the spring and just bottle my own, became vital to me. And as there are four million eight hundred thousand and seventy-two brands, I tried them all. And became a snob. For years all I would touch was Dasani. The minerals they add made it taste very similar to the lovely natural spring water available at spout stations all over the town I lived in. Lately, I've been exercising again, and sucking down the water again. And for whatever reason, I've decided to branch out and try some new things. Some of you may have read about my experience with Sparkling Death. That was fun (quick go read that if you missed it). Last week I found some evil crap with a cool bottle---damn you, Bob Ford, I'm buying for packaging now! Oddly, there were no flavors on the flavored bottle, only what it would do for you. This one will help you sleep, this one will help you think, this was makes you bigger, this one makes you smaller... I went with the cool lime green one for energy, believing it would be lemon-lime. NOT. It tasted exactly like Coppertone. Exactly. Ask Bob, he tried it while I made a very convincing "it's ok" face and then giggled because he wanted to beat me for the horrible taste. Fail. The next day I tried the white one for stress relief, because I wanted to give them another shot and if green was coconut then maybe white would be strawberry. NOT. This one tasted exactly like Alka-Seltzer. Not exaggerating. Not joking. Not even a little bit. Alka-freaking-seltzer. Even the kids and cats wouldn't drink it. And that's saying something. The other day, playing along with my experimentation of new waters and being the art guy he is, Bob found one with a cool package... that was good! Called Blk. It is water with minerals, specifically Fulvic trace minerals. I don't know if he got it for the packaging or because he could giggle and say "fulvic" for the next hour. But it IS black and you expect it to taste like... something. I don't know, maybe volcanic ash? I mean, after the Coppertone and Alka-Seltzer we were prepared for it to suck. It didn't. It tasted just like... wait for it... water. Good water. Cold, clean, crisp. No flavors, no tang, no fizz, no bullshit. YEAH. Although, the black really kinda messes with your head---like when you're thinking orange juice and drink milk. But seriously, two points to the marketing guys: "The dark side of water." Soooo... since the body is 60% water and it's good for us and we're supposed to drink approximately a small pond worth a day, you should all be drinking water. And it's Thursday. Oh come on, you saw that coming... Do you drink water? Enough? Tap or bottled? Spring, energy, flavored, what? Tell me what kind of fun bottled waters you all drink out there... partly because I'm interested to know who else is a snob. But mostly because it'll give me more to try after tonight's jog through the neighborhood.

Vuja Duh

"Everything's working out perfectly. The guys are at the swimming hole, and I'm home with a tooth ache. Nothing could possibly go wrong." ~ Alfalfa "Little Rascals"

I'm a tooth grinder when I sleep. Always have been. Not that I always do, every night, but that I have, on occasion, since I was a child. I blame my mother, who also grinds her teeth. When I'm stressed or sick, I grind a little. When I'm really stressed, I grind like I'm digging for gold. And considering what those within hearing distance have said, I'm stunned I don't wake myself up doing it. The past several months have been a "touch" stressful, and therefore I've been a bit on the grinding side (not pun intended). But lately, oh joy, my body has found the nocturnal desire to up the stress-induced self-abuse. Yay #taxseason! Since Saturday, I've been in excruciating pain. Not the normal "oh hey, my jaw is sore this morning I must have been grinding" crap that usually goes away by noon. No, this was a special kind of pain. The kind you wish on others. The kind that makes you compare it to childbirth, and childbirth is preferable. And I also noticed, I'm not just grinding, but clamping down so tightly that I'm waking myself up. Hmmm... cue the dentist. So apparently---one appointment, one x-ray and one befuddled "hmmm" from the dentist later---I've done the equivalent of a herniated disc... to my jaw hinge! Not TMJ but just damage to the TM joint itself, with internal swelling on the nerves that run along my jaw and up to my ear. Awesome. Spectacular. Excuse me? Seriously? How do we fix that? Oh well, we don't. Again, yay. Pain management and a sexy mouth guard while I'm sleeping and giving it time to heal. And before my "friends" start with the "you talk too much and broke your jaw" comments, no, talking actually helps it. It's the clamping down and biting my tongue and not talking that has caused this. ohhhh I can blame mom, taxes AND my new-found edit button! But I digress. It's Thursday. We should turn this around to be all about YOU now, right? Yes! Soooo... in the realm of completely stupid self-injuries, what have you done? This isn't even my normal 12-year-old habit of hurting myself in idiotic ways (i.e. tripping on grass, paper cuts with non-paper items, finding a way to hurt myself in a padded room). No, this is special. Now, that aside, you may not be a 12-year-old hiding in an adult body and hurt yourself on a regular basis like I do. Or you might. Regardless, you may choose one of those instances if it fits. What's the lamest self-induced pain you've ever given yourself? Come on... make me feel better about this while I wait for the pain meds to actually work. Tell me a story. Tell me a funny story that makes me giggle. Or a painful story that makes me wince. But tell me something. Join the stupid injury club---we have cookies!  
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