Necon 30

necon30We leave tomorrow morning for what has become one of my favorite weeks of the year. If you’re going, I’ll see you in the quad. If you’re not, you should really unfuck that next year. This year, they’ve decided to put me on the following panel… come, play, heckle, bring water balloons!

2:00 pm The Great Small Press Debate —The benefits, drawbacks, and etiquette of the small press. Two teams will decide: Is the small press beneficial to the horror community, or is it more trouble than it is worth?
1.) Linda Addison, Elizabeth Blue, Kelli Dunlap, Gary Frank, Amy Grech, Nanci Kalanta.
2.) Dan Keohane, Lisa Manetti, Monica O’Rourke, Morven Westfield

I’m not sure how the teams were designed, and whether or not I’m on the for or against team, but hey, surprise last minute panel info makes for an interesting discussion!

Full schedule here…

Tastes like Summer

dreamsicleA single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
– St. Francis of Assisi

I love dreamsicles. No, really, you need to understand… I turn into a twelve-year-old when I hear the ice cream truck. I jump up and down and run to find my wallet or the hippie’s pocket, bat my eyelashes, and smirk like a kid that knows what they’re getting for Christmas. And every time the ice cream truck stops, someone brings me back a dreamsicle. They don’t ask what I want. They know. Because I love dreamsicles.

Because they taste like summer.

I heart Ra in general. Sunshine is a good thing. It makes your soul smile and your skin tingle. But if you zero in on the generality of sunshine and just consider summer… well, that’s where I went while savoring the last dreamsicle I had.

I said it tasted like summer to whomever was standing there, and then I thought about that. What else tastes like summer? Better yet, what other senses bring summertime to my mind?

I hit that thought again at work during last week’s heat wave. As many of you know, I abhor shoes. I am barefoot whenever possible, even if it gets me yelled at by certain waitresses that will be missed at HFW this year (Nora!) or other people of supposed authority. As such, I was barefoot at work when I went out to get the mail. Walking across the parking lot was like walking on lava, but instead of cursing the heat, my mind traveled back to a summertime long ago.

When I was seven, we lived in Texas. Across from our apartment building was a giant field, then a 7-11. I was sent to get tomato paste. I don’t know why I remember it was tomato paste mom needed, but I do, because the mind and memory are weird like that. I have no idea what I learned in eighth grade history, but I know thirty-four years ago my mom needed tomato paste. And I was barefoot. And the parking lot of that 7-11 was like lava.

Pavement threatening to blister my feet feels like summer.

And then I remembered what I said about the dreamsicle and I wondered about the five senses of summer again. So I started thinking about it. Dreamsicles taste of it. Hot asphalt feels like it. What looks, sounds and smells of it?

Smell could be lilacs, but that’s cliché and more spring than summer. Bonfires? Perhaps. Because they remind me of parties at the point, burning tires, laughing with friends and sitting on the sand. Sound could easily be associated with the ice cream truck music, but that’s a little too close to the dreamsicle and each sense deserves its own trigger. A new summer sound would be cicadas. They’re loud and obnoxious and absolutely fascinating, if only because they’re still new. Perhaps next year that will sound like summer. This year, it’s too fresh and sound will have to settle for being… I don’t know. And I don’t have any idea what summer looks like to me. I’ll have to think about these things. Or rather, pay attention. Because I don’t believe I can just remember, or decide, what summer smells, looks or sounds like. Not with that same rush of warmth through my chest that the dreamsicle and asphalt brought to me. Not with that tickle in my mind that reminded me of childhood summers and the escapism brought with them. I think those things have to be experienced with an “Ah-ha” moment, where I become twelve again and declare “this” smells like summer.

Moments of declaration are a strange thing. In this case, a whimsical thing. Equating a sense to a season is just a fun exercise in silly at this point. But silly is good. It keeps you young. It makes you buy sidewalk chalk and blow bubbles in the house. I keeps your spirit high when stress wants to drag it down. And it helps you live the only life you’re going to get.

Summer is different now (sorry mom, I’m going there). Summer is warmer and lasts longer. It comes earlier and stays late, like a canadian trying to suck the most out of a three-day weekend. It brings fireflies by the droves and a night sky that doesn’t quite look right to me. It smells like tiki torches and feels like the cool water of a kiddie pool. Someday, I’ll figure out the other senses—by accident. Right now, I have a dreamsicle, that tastes just like summer.

Pimpin’ Sunday

friends_cast_004aIt’s been a while since I’ve pimped my friends. I’m feeling spicy. I’m reading their blogs and playing catch-up and think you should do the same (read, not play). So here are some interesting blogs my friends have posted lately that you should check out. And then you should bookmark them, friend them, mark it as like, retweet it, or do whatever it is you do to revisit a place and pass it along to others. Ready? Let’s go travel the worldwideweird…

Nate Southard. Every girl needs a boy in her posse that makes her try harder just to keep up—this is mine. I hate him. I love him. And his blog is just as varied as those emotions. This particular blog sings to the writers out there, whether professional or wannabe. Read it. Love it. Share it. Hurry, Wait, Hurry, Wait

Alethea Kontis. The princess. Because every wicked witch should have an adversary that they actually love and adore and play scrabble with and giggle next to on a mini trampoline—this is mine. And sometimes, even a princess can get angry. This one is for the tech-heads out there. Own an iphone do you? Ever had some form of technology go obsolete before you were ready for it to? This particular post if for you. Read. Love. Share. Rotten Apples.

Bob Ford. The hippie. Before we dated and long after he’s done with me, he will be the Coop of our generation. He writes beautiful words with an ease that makes me want to kill him, but instead I adore him and just plot to take him out in some fiction at some point. He sucks at blogging. No really, he does. But he’s trying. He’s doing blogs twice a week now—memories and questions. And if we don’t play along with his questions he’s stop blogging again. So think over this and give him an answer… Read. Love. Share. The Lure of Passion.

Maurice Broaddus. Mo. I love the hell out of him, and want to slap him on a regular basis. His blog is poignant and/or professional, depending on the mood and whether or not he’s been to church in the last 24 hours. Sometimes, he forgets the internet is forever and goes a little deeper than he should. But we love him for it anyway. This one will make you think, no matter who you are, where you’re at, and should be read, loved and shared. Addicted to (Self-)Love.

Wrath James White. The only friend I have without a nickname, hmmmm I’m going to have to fix that. Intelligent, deep, thoughtful, brutal, abrasive and wonderful. His blogs are worth reading even if they make you ache, especially if they make you ache. This one will make you fear… after you read his and think about your own. Read. Love. Share. This I Fear.

Need more? There’s a whole list on the right of my page there. See it? They’re all on blogs and livejournal and myspace, and have facebook or twitter or everything. Click through them. You’ll find mentors, big brothers, sisters, inspiration and aspiration, writers, readers and well, friends… old to me, maybe new to you. Read them. Love them. Share them.

ps. and Happy Birthday to two of my cancers…

Yum

chinese_takeoutAll work and no play makes Gypsy a little Wenchie, so yes, I play. I waste time for a little bit each day and dump my brain, clear my head. I play some mindless game on Facebook while I’m waking up with coffee, and visit again after work—or when the muse is being evil. And I spend my first smoke break of each work day checking my horoscope, because I usually need a good giggle right about then.

It’s a fun game, that smoke break. I check Pisces and Cancer… I happen to be a fish and know a few other fish & crabs. If I don’t like the message, or it doesn’t hold true for me, I just assume it’s for one of the others with that sign. Yesterday’s offered this tidbit:

“Think back to your favorite childhood meal and recreate it for someone you love today. It’s a great time for good food, good company and ever better chatter. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy—you just need to enjoy each other’s company in a comfortable manner. Go ahead and call that special person and tell them what you have in mind. They should be ecstatic.”

I didn’t actually read anything beyond the first line. That one stumped me. Favorite childhood meal? And then a little voice inside my head screamed “Garage talk!”

Now, because of my answer, we’re going to tweak this just a bit for the purpose of Thursday and you obviously don’t have to go cook it. What was your favorite childhood meal? Think back… If not a particular meal, or even with it, what great food memory do you have?

When I was a kid, my parents had this tradition. On your birthday, you got to choose the restaurant. Sometimes it was just me and them, sometimes it was the whole family. From ten to eighteen, I always, always, always chose Jade Fountain. I’ve loved Chinese food for as long as I can remember. I blame my mother’s stint as a waitress at Bob’s Chop Suey when I was four—no, I didn’t use “Bob” as a generic like I used to, that’s the actual name of the place. I remember the narrow stairs that led to the second floor restaurant. I remember the smells that hit halfway up those stairs. And I have fond memories of Bob’s kitchen—and the little candies they used to feed me. We went to Jade Fountain when I was about ten. I was sold for life. Hell, I’d still go there in a heartbeat when visiting if the opportunity arose. The atmosphere is outstanding. Fountains and Buddhas and koi ponds and rich, culture-filled chewy goodness everywhere you looked.

For childhood triggers? Chinese food wins. It brings back Bob’s (which is sadly now a tanning salon) and Jade Fountain. It brings back meals of experimenting with flavor, laughing with family, and being the birthday girl at the table… ah crap, I just came up with an idea for another blog!

Your answer? (Mom, so help me BOB, if you email your answer instead of posting it this week… )

Sparks

fireworks“And the rockets’ red glare
the bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there…”

Last weekend our country celebrated another birthday. We celebrate with “bombs bursting in air” and flags in our yards. As a nation, we had picnics & BBQs, went swimming, giggled and laughed. Overall, it was a good time.

Being me, I was coming to tear down your happy. I was going to talk of patriotism and soldiers lost. I was going to explain how I’ve told my children, since they were very young, “each and every spark of a firework represents someone that died for our freedoms.” I was going to go all maudlin…

And then Becky happened.

Let me back up. It was a great weekend. Dickie came down from Canada. Apparently, the fireworks up north aren’t that great. We played thursday night. I went to sleep at a decent hour so I could go to work friday, and the boys stayed up until the wee hours doing god knows what—but I hear no llama’s were involved.

Della & Scott came down friday night for a while. Evil Gypsy that I am, when she texted they were close, I suggest to the boys that we play Rock Band and timed it just perfectly. When D&S pulled up, Bob was singing Bon Jovi and Dickie was dying on the drums he’d turned into bongos. Embarrassing your friends on purpose? That’s love. They visited for a while and I played with sparklers like the 12-year-old I am. Many giggles and lots of magic.

Saturday was a million degrees and the three of us spent the day in the pool. We were waterlogged but had a great time. There were tiki torches and an amazing meal of grilled kabobs & shrimp. Qwee showed up after dinner and hung out for a while. After dark there were more sparklers & two larger fireworks that the old woman at Black Cat promised would be good. She didn’t lie. When Qwee left, I made the boys play with sparklers until they remembered that they weren’t too old for magic, and we discussed childhood magic vs. adult adventure until the wee morning hours. I learned that I’m an anomaly. Apparently, Alethea and I see magic far more often than those around us, and friends that notice it feed off it. I decided to spend the rest of the weekend trying to fix this.

Sunday we went to Baltimore. The plan was to hit Poe’s grave, Poe’s house, wander Fell’s Point, see fireworks and hang at Howl at the Moon until they kicked us out. We had some failures along the way, but some happy surprises as well. Poe’s grave is closed. The city of Baltimore proved again that they have no love, respect or desire to improve either location for the man that many of us would eagerly invite to dinner. Scheduled tours, the first and third weekends of the month, friday at 6 and saturday at 10, are the only times you can get in the graveyard now. The house? Well, it’s still closed, but we didn’t know right away. When we pulled up there were two squads and three cops at the house next to it, blocking the one-way street so we couldn’t get there. We laughed at the Poe Fail we were having and decided to wait it out, rather than walk into some blazing gun fight in the projects. We waited. We finally squeezed through the road block to see the “closed” sign and I sighed, “Oh hell… take us to the hotel.”

We checked in, Dickie found an A/C vent in the hallway that he started having romantic conversations with, we freshened a touch and ventured out into the blazing heat to wander Fell’s Point. Again, there was a plan. The plan was to wander, yes, but to also show Dickie the Santeria shop found on a previous adventure. The one with the plain brown packages in a cooler in the back. The one Hippie is a little afraid of. And as Sunday Fail would have it, it was closed. We managed to get him to the comic store, and I’m still surprised he didn’t buy the bacon tuxedo. We wandered back toward the hotel. I declared they should feed me. And we found heaven, er, sushi to die for. After stuffing our faces with godzilla rolls and angel vaginas, we hit the hotel for a power nap. Yes, we’re that old.

Awake, refreshed, changed and ready for an evening of fireworks and debauchery, we headed back out into the heat. After double Poe fail and Santeria fail, and half the other shops I wanted to see being closed, I was expecting an announcement that fireworks had been canceled and we’d have total Baltimore Fail. But I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t give the universe that one.

The fireworks were amazing. They were magic. Period. I’m sure there are pretty words to describe it, but I just can’t. Even my muse was speechless. The finale looked like someone had thrown a giant bag of cupcake sprinkles into the sky and lit them on fire. The sparks, each one deserving a thank you, and reflections on the water were exactly what this gypsy needed. I’m a simple girl. I’m easy to please. I requested water and fireworks, the rest was just extra. Extra was closed for renovations but I got my heart’s desire.

We then took off for Howl at the Moon. I learned that my shoes are hawt but cobblestone sucks and went barefoot. Yes, I was in Baltimore barefoot. Yes, I watched my step for hypodermics. We met up with Amber & Doug, the piano guys played the standard Piano Man almost instantly and then Bon Jovi for the boys as if they’d been told. We left there, and went to Hard Rock, where I had the most amazing strawberry margarita ever. There was jokes and laughs and smiles and memories all day and all night. When Hard Rock closed and we headed back to A&D’s hotel to find an open bar and pizza, we found a large fountain instead. It was beautiful. It had waterfalls and statues and spraying water and great big signs that said “no swimming.” HA! I had my feet in the water immediately. Amber followed. We sat on the edge for about two minutes splashing our feet before we looked at each other and giggled.

Signs, signs
everywhere there’s signs…
do this
don’t do that
can’t you read the sign

Um no. I can’t. I suck and have an issue with authority figures and rules that make no sense. Amber and I hiked up our miniskirts and hopped on in. It was amazing. It was magic. The boys sat on the bank and watched. I saw the smiles. I knew they at least understood the magic, even if they couldn’t feel it themselves.

The hotel bar was closed, we wandered barefoot for a few blocks, found a cabby that knew nothing and left A&D to head back to our hotel—because we were smart and had packed squirrel supplies for the trip. We got back, the boys made secret squirrels and we headed out front to smoke on the sidewalk.

The weekend was fun. The day was amazing. There were tons of memories and lots of magic and my glassy eyes thanked every single one of those soldiers in the sky. And while we were recapping, we met Becky.

Becky had been evicted the day before. She’d been living with a couple and paying them rent, however, they were not paying the landlord. She’d been to all the shelters and they were full. She and her Wal*Mart bag of possessions were desperate. She had a water bottle, clean arms, clear eyes and a passion in her broken voice that made me go quiet. Me. The band on her left hand wasn’t a wedding ring, it was a reminder of the son she’d left with an aunt while she got on her feet. She told us of the hostel she’d found that would give her a bed, a shower and three squares. She’d been begging for the last three hours and everyone had been rude and cruel and mean to her. She made some comment about destitution depressing others and they turn cold at the sight of it. We’re not everyone else. We asked her name. We made her feel human again.

I see magic everywhere. That night, I saw it in both my boys and a stranger. The boys were beaten into remembering that it’s there to see, you just need to look. And Becky had forgotten magic even existed. Wallets came out. Kind words were passed. Her eyes lit up and relief washed across her face. She had a plan, she’d told us already, and now she was a step closer to it. She was turning 40 in 10 days and with any luck wouldn’t be on the streets by then. Hippie sent her off to her hostel and future with a glimmer in his eyes. I loved him a little more at that moment. I hated humanity a little more at that moment. The fact that everyone had been cruel to her, on the 4th of July, angered me for some reason…

Magic. I see it daily and hug it tight like a teddy bear. I see it in my surroundings and I see it in hazel eyes. The lightening bug that says hello, the child that smiles back at me. It’s everywhere. I saw it in Baltimore’s night sky, reflected in the Inner Harbor. I reminded the boys of it every time I saw it, every time I noticed them seeing it on their own. And I saw it in those weary blue eyes as they walked away from us that night, her step a little lighter than it had been when we met.

I was originally calling this blog “Thank you” to the men and women that have died for our freedoms. Instead, I’ll say Happy Birthday to the country they keep free. And to Becky. Perhaps next year, she’ll see the magic in the fireworks above the harbor… reflected in her son’s eyes.